


even when i’m gone

by laceythighs



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Boyfriends, Heavy Angst, M/M, Suicide, date
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-04
Updated: 2019-09-04
Packaged: 2020-10-09 21:37:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20516825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laceythighs/pseuds/laceythighs
Summary: jeno and jaemin went out on an overnight trip to the beach, it went fine, happily and smoothly but little did jeno know that it was also his last time seeing jaemin.





	even when i’m gone

**Author's Note:**

> again, my mental health was slowly getting damaged and almost everyday i lose energy to do something. i wanted to let it all our once again, and made a story

“aish jeno! where are you? I've been waiting for hours!” jaemin said harshly on the phone, standing at the bus stop waiting for his boyfriend to come. “nana its three am, why do we have to leave so early?” jeno said on the phone. jaemin sighed and replied “because three am drives are nice! especially with your loved ones jeno so please come here” he said with frustration. as soon as he said that, he saw a familiar silhouette in the distance, a tall boy running to jaemin’s direction, holding a backpack on one hand and the other was on the phone. he immediately knew it was his boyfriend so he ended the call and waved to him. when jeno reached his place on the bus stop, he took a deep breath after running to his boyfriend. “has the bus arrive yet?” jeno exhaled asking his boyfriend while looking around to check any buses. “no? we’re taking an uber jeno” nana said calmly making jeno confused as their plan was to take the bus then an uber to the hotel that they were saving for. “jeno did you really think there was gonna be buses on three am?” jaemin laughed looking at his boyfriend who was now sitting on the chairs in the stop.

jeno was dumbfounded and just pouts looking away from his boyfriend, with that jaemin giggled on how cute jeno was. jaemin sat down beside jeno and kissed his cheek, “our uber will arrive in ten minutes so we still have time” jaemin paused after looking at the uber app on his phone and turns to his boyfriend, “how did you escape you parents?” he asked. jeno looked away to the distance and replied “well i went out the window and successfully got out smoothly but as soon as I jumped out of my bedroom door was being opened but i managed to run away from whoever was looking for me” jeno answered. jaemin just let out an ‘ohh’ expression, he thought that it was cute on how jeno explained the story so he smiled at the side view of his boyfriend who wasn’t looking back at him. then jaemin’s phone dinged meaning that the uber arrived in front of them. they immediately got up and got their bags and intertwined their hands, walking to the car. as soon as they got in, they didn’t let go, they stayed like that for the rest of the road trip, which was only thirty minutes. on the thirty minutes, jeno laid his head on jaemin’s shoulders as he was drifting off to sleep. while jaemin just enjoyed the rest of the ride with the slow music playing on the radio and looking outside on the window to see the beautiful skies and city lights. 

  


jeno woke up from a sweet voice, “jeno-ah, were here.” jaemin whispered to his boyfriend, with what jeno lifted his head up from jaemin’s shoulder and rubbed his eyes to see that they were already in front of the hotel, jaemin paid to the driver and went out of the car followed by jeno and walked towards the hotel receptionists with their bags. jaemin was checking in while jeno was beside him, looking around the hotel lobby and was amazed at the beautiful decorations and walls. it was so fancy that jeno couldn’t believe that him and jaemin saved up for this type of trip. it was already four am at that time, it was the time jeno’s parents would wake him up for an early dance practice for a morning show on that day but instead he got his phone and saw the notifications of his parents calling. he quickly ignored them and turned off his phone and places it inside his bag. as soon as jaemin got their keycard, he looks over at jeno and holds his hand, guiding him to the elevators going up to their hotel room.

as jaemin unlocked the room door, jeno immediately ran to the bed and throws himself. the bed was a king sized bed, good enough for the both of them. when jaemin laughed at how cute jeno was, he looked around the room to the bathroom, kitchen, and a small dining room. jaemin said it was completely nice and complete for the both of them, they had everything they needed so there was not really much to complain about. their savings for months was actually worth it jaemin thought. jaemin then puts his and jeno’s bag on the floor and crawls to jeno’s back, hugging him. jaemin felt comfortable and safe with jeno’s presence, it made jaemin feel things that he thinks no one would ever let him feel, he truly loves him. since their trip was a bit tiring for both of them, they both slowly drifted off to take a nap to relieve their exhaustion. 

a few minutes had past, and they were getting ready to head down to the beach and swim, relax and have fun for a while. they didn’t escape their homes just to stay and waste their savings for a hotel room. they put on some sunscreen, shades and a plain white shirt paired with swimming shorts and a small belt bag to put their phones and keycard in. jeno went out of the door followed by jaemin who was busy locking the door and immediately went to the elevators where jeno was. while waiting, jeno immediately thought of an idea, so jeno went to his boyfriend and kissed his cheeks making the both of them blush in pink. “what was that for?” jaemin asked while hiding his cheeks. “nothing! I just love you nana” jeno said while looking at jaemin with heart eyes on and intertwined his hand to jaemin’s 

the walk to the beach wasn’t too long, it took them 10 minutes to walk to the beach which was fine for them, as they arrived jeno ran to the surface and splashed some water on jaemin. which resulted to them having a splash off. there weren't many people on the beach that day, it was still too early in fact, it was eight thirty am. even though there were some people who gave them dirty looks on showing too much affection and being openly gay for each other, they didn’t and never cared. they were enjoying the moment of being together, being with each other, being loved by each other under the sun that was hitting both of their pale skin. the scene was beautiful, it was like a fairytale that they never wanted to end. it was like a dream that they never wanted to escape. it was everything for them. and with this, jeno kissed jaemin’s plumped lips under the sun, in front of people who gave them dirty looks. but he didn’t care, he wanted to prove to jaemin that he truly loves him.

after drying up, they ate a few snacks and headed back to the hotel room to wash up. jeno was the first to take a shower followed by jaemin, but when jaemin turned on the shower he shouted out for a towel, but nobody responded. jaemin went out of the bathroom with a robe on looking for where jeno was and there he was. on the bed, sleeping as he was exhausted from the day. his cute little snores that weirdly made jaemin’s heart flutter. so jaemin slowly goes to his boyfriend and caress his cheeks, admired his beauty and kissed his lustful lips. it was beautiful, god jaemin was so in love with the boy. as jaemin was admiring his lover, a tear was dropped which immediately was wiped away, he slowly stood up and goes to his lover’s ear and whispers “i love you.” 

jeno woke up expecting jaemin to be there beside him, but he wasn’t. jeno sat up from the bed and yawned as he just woke up, he looked at the windows outside their hotel room and saw that it was gonna be sunset. jeno shouted out a ‘nana?’ calling jaemin’s attention. but he didn’t hear a response nor anything. he immediately stood up and looked for his lover, he looked at the kitchen, living room and the small dining room but no one was there. he assumed that jaemin probably had a surprise for him, but for what jeno asked. jeno went to the bathroom door that was surprisingly unlocked, it was half open and the lights were on. jeno assumed that jaemin was inside the bathroom, so before he went in to check he knocked on the half opened door saying ‘jaemin? are you here’. with that, there was no response at all. so it pushed jeno to open the door and he was right. jaemin was there, except he was in the bathtub filled with water and blood.

jeno was in shock, terror and panicking. he didn’t know what to do, jaemin was laying on the tub with his eyes closed looking away from jeno’s direction. jeno’s attention went to the small knife on the ground that had blood. jeno kicked the knife away and started bursting out of tears, sobbing loudly and screaming. he went to jaemin’s body and got him out of the tub and saw the cuts and marks that were on jaemin’s arms. jeno was sobbing loudly at the scene. he kept trying to wake jaemin up, but it wouldn’t work. the amount of times that jeno slapped jaemin’s cheeks, held jaemin’s arm to stop the bleeding, screaming harshly to jaemin saying that he was still alive. jeno didn’t believe it, he didn’t want to. he couldn’t believe that this planned trip, was a planned suicide attempt. and it worked. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> suicide hotlines:  
United States: 1-800-273-8255  
United Kingdom: 116 123  
Canada:1 800 456 4566  
Ireland: 116 123  
Philippines: 2919  
Australia: 131 114
> 
> http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html


End file.
